We Tried To Fix It
by SaintsAndSupes
Summary: Follow Up to We're Gonna Fix It. It's Dean and Sam's final stand against Lilith and her Hell-hounds, but the inevitable happens right before Sammys eyes.


Not a week later we head to New Harmony, Indiana, after Lilith, and Dean discovers that he now has the ability to see the faces of demons underneath their human faces.

I can't imagine what my brother is seeing, but he winces every time, and it hurts me to see.

Dean doesn't smile so much, and his eyes are just distant.

It's been a year, today.

Dread and nerves has my stomach in knots, I'd like nothing more than to grab Dean and never let go,

So much happened so fast, it seemed like such a blur.

When a did a year ever seem so short? When did 365 days, 12 months, pass me by in what felt like a breath?

When did the stupid hunts, and petty little fights of ours, span out to cover a year?

When?

Why couldn't I get him more time?

Those questions are swirling in my head, as we confront Lilith.

By now Ruby is no longer Ruby, she's Lilith. Our realization comes too late.

Dean's pinned to a table and cannot move, but Lilith is after me.

I can hear Dean,

"Let him go! Let Sam go!"

I am her rival it seems. Damn it Azazel!

I start negotiating, bargaining, Dean's not going anywhere if I can help it.

Lilith merely runs a finger down my cheek, I'm trapped.

"Silly goose," She says softly, "If you want to bargain, you gotta have something that I want."

She clicks her tongue in a "shame on you" manner,

"And, you don't have anything I want."

Dean, damn him, starts mouthing off.

"This your big plan? Huh?! Drag me to Hell, kill Sam, then what? Become Queen Bitch?"

She smirks, and turns from me, leaving me trapped.

"I don't have to answer to puppy chow," She opens the door, "Sic em boy." Lilith half sings, laughs at the hell-hound as it barks and snarls. Unseen by me toward Dean.

It drags him off the table, and he hits the floor with a loud thud.

"No!" He yells, and it's the same 'No' from the nightmares I've been protecting him from, and I'm powerless to stop it.

"No! Stop!" I yell at Lilith, it's useless. She looks at me like I'm some idiot and revels in the carnage.

It's weird and surreal to see. Some invisible force ripping Dean apart in front of my eyes, knowing he can see what's killing him and I can't help him, I can't make it better. I can't do the right thing.

Deep deep cuts are apparent in his thigh, I can see bone and he's screaming.

Dean is hurting, dying, and I'm stuck.

I'm yelling for him, what can I do? Make him focus on me? M-make it stop somehow. I don't know how!

It doesn't stop mauling him, the left side of his chest, and then dead center.

Three or four long slices into the skin, and the light I his eyes, it just goes away.

It fades, I think Dean's gone.

"Nooo!"

"Yes." Lilith croons softly, and raises a hand to me, to do whatever white power hoodoo it is she does.

'It's ok Dean, I'm right behind you. It's ok I'll see you in a minute.' Is my thought, I'm going to die.

At least I died with Dean. I close my eyes and wait.

I don't feel any different, I didn't feel a thing.

It's when I open m eyes, Lilith is gone, and reality is there on the floor...

The reality is my dead brother.

Everything in me ceases to be, I collapse to the floor next to him and pull him to me.

"Dean! Dean!" I call to him, hold him to me, press my lips to his hair. "No, no, no."

I cry, sob, I've never felt heartbreak like this. Like my heart and soul have just shattered, my whole reason, my entire meaning, is gone. I must have sat with him for a good 2 hours. Or longer, I'm not sure.

When I go to stand I'm weak, disoriented, and there's a weight on my body that makes no sense.  
But then again, nothing makes sense anymore.

I take Dean, wrap him in my shirt. Don't care that he's bloody or I'm getting bloody.

I just, don't care.

I bury him, I put my shirt on him. He deserved to look decent.  
Dean was a goddamn hunter, warrior, and he was my brother.  
I'd be damned if he didn't get something decent, it was all I could do.

I didn't burn the bones, I absolutely refused, I wasn't about to burn my brothers body.

I took his necklace, the amulet I'd given to him many Christmases ago, and put it in my pocket.

I fully intended to hang it on the Impalas rear-view mirror.

I sat there covered in sweat, blood, and dirt.

Just sat there next to Dean's makeshift grave.

I talked to him, promised him I was gonna make it right. Knew he couldn't hear me, but I needed convincing.

It was 1am before I finally pulled myself away.

It felt like I was leaving my life behind, hell I honestly was.

I turned off my phone, didn't call Bobby, didn't tell anyone a thing.

I got in the impala, hung Dean's necklace off the mirror, and I just drove.

No clue as to where I was going, no plans.

I just, drove.


End file.
